Friday, November 26, 2010

A Mans Black Friday

"At least the sun is out today", she thought while once again pulling the pillows from the floor to their standard position at the head of the bed. It's done with care, and a task that her husband never performs, would never consider. "Making the bed is woman's work", according to him; doing well to stand without falling down the steps, half awake, ambling downstairs to to pee the dog. He hesitates at the hall closet door, "must find the moccasins from Christmas past", the needles in a haystack, each mornings aggravating chore of which is which, a balancing act, a ritualistic game of chance to find two matching shoes.

The wife turns her head to the side, the morning rays broadcasting upon the battered comforter suggests the need for a new one. It means only one thing: Black Friday and the need to spend.


Last night while eating pie at our good friends, the Blau's, uncle Steve gets up and announces that he must leave to get ready for the lines. I am serious. He had a pup tent, a hand full of bud lights and his girlfriend with him. He actually left to go and camp outside of Walmart. Not kidding.

I immediatly checked the bathrooms and the corners of small rooms on the first floor for signs of crack usage, but there was nothing that would suggest impairment of this serious of kind, nothing to have indicated any reason for such strange behaviour. But wait, ah yes, there was a chick involved. His girlfriend had to beat the odds, it was a competition and she was a conditioned athlete. They would run with the bulls.

My last memory of Black Friday was one of those YouTube videos above, of a Walmart where very, very large people fell down and rolled around on the floor while others stepped on them, injuries, ambulances, drama, fights. I haven't yet looked for the new vids out there. I am sure they are being populated as I write.

So I heard Janie on the phone today talking about shopping on Saturday. I think that this is actually a worse time to go at it, to tangle with the lay people, those who fall in line like sheep, bargain hunting sheep, because somebody else made the suggestion that shopping is what we are supposed to do; shop after thankgiving.

Check this out, if you want to see what the pulse is, the heartbeat of America, go stand in line at returns at Walmart just after the Holiday. Go get yourself a glass of Starbucks, (because that is where you can find Starbucks now), and enjoy the ensemble of characters coming and going. It's better than any mullet clad bass fishing blooper show, yup.

I am sorry, I don't mean to trounce on anyone who wants to take advantage of a sale, or get a leg up. But wouldn't you rather just go without. Go without everything. Except perhaps some roll on deodorant and a dozen or so packages of turbo shavers?

Enjoy Black Friday, enjoy the people and their passion for a sale, enjoy the feeling that you are getting a deal. Wallow in the messaging of the retail experience and be glad you are an American, lucky to have what you have, spend what you want to spend. It is a Hallmark kind of experience. I am getting a tad teary. This at the thought of our family time, watching the youtube vids of American culture. Hugs.

No comments: