Thursday, July 24, 2008

Horse People

Just when I thought I was goin dry on content, a lurker surfaces....

Anonymous said...

You freakin' bikers ride down the middle of the freakin' highway so us "low income equestrians" have to drive 5mph. PLUS... they spent millions on all those damn trails in wildwood so you pedal pushers can continue to drive down the the middle of the road like your in a motorized vehicle. Give me a break you freakin' tree huggers!!!
July 17, 2008 4:23 PM

Anonymous said...

Actually, I know hundreds of low income equestrians. If you think ticks are only in wooded areas where horses have been then you obviously haven't heard the Brad Paisley song..."Ticks".
July 17, 2008 4:28 PM

Oh my, I do love a good cat fight. But let's be real here. I won't expose the chicks up top. They are pretty cool and, because they have indulged me, will soon receive "Got Wapiti?" t-shirts as part of an on going public relations smear encouraging equines to co-habitate with us. Truce ladies? By the by, these upscale T's are are "tick-proofed" in our bio-friendly laboratories and made of hemp in a village in the rain forest where little kids sing and dance for the birth of more friggin horses.

I must say I had no idea the equines, especially those in Oklahomer, gave a rats ass about the goings on at Greensfelder park or the ramblings of this writer. I will have to clean it up a bit, or not, whichever you prefer.

Back to business. First, we don't ride on the bike paths because we are too fast and way to spiffy in our lycra kits. Those bicyclers are the fair weathers, we are the off-road racers who train on technical trails and hilly (Wildwood) roads. We can't co-habitate with the stroller moms, the roller skaters (unless they are those roller derby women who look more like us than...girls), the joggers and/or weight watcher rally ups. The trails made in Wildwood were made for them and I am sure with the new council members recently elected there, a decreased emphasis on all infrastructure will occur and a barn built on every plot. So buy land now, in Wildwood.

We are speaking of the sweet single track, Dogwood and Declue, those trails built by hand, by mountain bikers. Maintained by GORC. To be honest, the horses don't really "ruin" the trails, they simply make them impassable by anyone other than horses during certain in-climate conditions. The "post holes" hurt my ass after a while and to hike on them is of danger to our cheeldrens ankles. Yes, I bring the cheeldren into this cat fight.

Here is what we will do. Let's have a party, Pfoodman will cater the food and Thrasher will bring all the Inbev we can drink. I'll put together a group of esteemed individuals, PBR lovers (and I don't mean proffesional bull riders). Pick one of those fancy three story barns in Wildwood with a corral and all. We will have games and stuff, like barrel wrastlin, or whatever that thing is when the horses go around the barrels. I for one like watching trotting, so we will do a bunch of that. We can do a bunch of "yeehaw's" and "gaul dogs" and build a campfire. I am going to wear me some of those jeans with a belt buckle bigger than my hubcaps. We'll get this thing solved once and for all. Who's in?


Anonymous said...

When horse people have to clean up the piles of poo left by their animals like owners of lap dogs that make coin size waste or go off trail like humans I'll be happy. Really- bikers don't tear up the trails, we can be passed and interacted with without freaking out and we don't leave huge piles of crap dead center of the trail. I guess I'll barrel race for peace if needed.

Anonymous said...

Just so you know...that was totally my 'Anonymous Oklahoma Friend' who made the comments! I don't have horses and she thinks it would be funny to see me ride one. I did, however, sit in her office while she typed and laughed my ass off. She hasn't been that fired up in a while!

You can't clean up the blog, btw. It would be very un-ralphish.

See you soon....KAH