Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Art of Passertive Aggression

I was telling my kid the other day not to worry about this years tennis season coming up. It is a few months off yet, but I am preparing both she, her mother and I for what lies ahead. There is a reason for this; the anger filled world of girls tennis will bring out the worst in everyone. It is not enough that there are only 12 spots to earn on varsity. There are singles, the top four spots that will be fought over, kicked over, scratched, punched and berated over, stabbed, mashed, spit on. And that is just the parents.

As a parent I would love for my kid to understand the concept of being strategically passive, or, Passertive Aggressive--that there are times when it is perfectly fine to allow yourself to be pushed around a bit. (Good luck trying to explain this at the dinner table). I figure it's an educational process, a homework lesson in identifying patterns of behavior--the Art of Passertive Aggression. It may be perfectly fine to be the proverbial whipping boy/girl. It's OK to subscribe to unconditional high road when competing or communicating with others, for a bit. The more your opponent thinks they have you in control, the less they'll seek to learn more about you. They'll fall short of recognizing what you do particularly well, or where there might be a weaknesses, but most importantly, whether or not there is gradual improvement.

Therefore, it is strategic to be taken for granted--that which is of huge benefit to the passive aggressor, in a bigger picture sort of way. The strategic process requires patience; you are an opportunist who works behind the scenes, calmly evaluating your opponent, processing information for later recall. This is assertive behavior. Seek to identify your opponents patterns of success and failure and intuition will provide for all you to you win. Out of nowhere, you'll emerge a winner, authentic and respected by your opponents.

Karma will always keep things in check.

Be authentic and karma becomes your partner.

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