Thursday, May 31, 2007

Trainwreck



So here I sit, day two of the Oklahoma trip. Edmond OK, to be precise. It is home of the Interurban Restaurant. Kevin and I landed there for a brief time during our stay there, as per our directives from hotel gal Megan, who when asked for a brew pub, she pointed us there. I never really “got” the theme--the name Interurban, for a restaurant and bar. I am still struggling to decipher the meaning. The menu said that the restaurant had been around since 1979. There was a picture of a city bus on the awning, a railroad track logo, kind of a city-inner-urban-trainwreck-mumbojumbo…that serves burgers and beer. That’s about all she wrote.


I found it interesting when visiting the restroom, nodding to the cook on my way in, he on his way out. While standing at the urinal humming to myself a rendition of John Lee Hooker’s, Dimples, water creeped out from under the bathroom stall door (where the cook had been) encircling my feet. At the end of….the song, I was standing in an inch deep of “overflow”. The dude had clogged it all up, knew about it, and bailed so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. He hurried back to work, back to putting mayonnaise on ya’ll’s hamburgers. Well, we didn't quite stay at the Interurban much longer, seeing as though the only bathroom in the place had the manager and two of the hostesses cleaning out the commode while the people stacked up at the door and the cook just smiled and waved.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Fear of Panic Attack



It happened again. And had been a while since the last one. If I remember correctly I was in an elevator in Argentina the last time and prior to that on the plane, somewhere over the Panama Canal.


Everyone smokes in Buenos Aires, as well as every other freaking European culture that I can think of. In every office building, sidewalk, cab ride, restaurant, bus station, coffee shop that I walked into in Buenos Aires, the smell of smoke permeated from the front door inward. I couldn't breathe and it freaked me out. It was the same in London all of the cities that we visited there. Why all the smoking? Does the Queen smoke?


I used to smoke. So now since I've quit, I am a real pain in the ass about it. Yes, I might still enjoy a malt beverage and a cigar from time to time. I stick up for the tavern or bar owner who chooses to cater to the needs of this sort of thing, but for the most part, I am not all that indulgent and prefer always to dine and mingle in smoke free environments. I am certainly OK with the culture anywhere. Who am I to judge? I simply find it uncomfortable, smelly and confining.


Getting on the elevator on the way to meet with the Portuguese speaking shipping executives that day was a real struggle. The cigarette smoke caught me from the door and I was immediately escorted to a 3 foot by 5 foot "500 pound maximum" elevator in the corner of the building. It was the only elevator servicing all of the floors, and we were to go to the 10Th floor. I was on my way to the stairwell when told it was ten floors up and they were storing office furniture in the stairwell on floor 6 because of "painting".


It didn't help that we were in Argentina on the anniversary of the famous disco fire that killed a bunch of party revelers at a late night club back in 96. I read about it on the plane, the 10 hour flight from Miami, in which I was sandwiched in between two slabs of farm flesh beef babe, my arms folded, for fear of touching them, was nearly enough to send me to the bar.


So it really started on the plane on the way there; the oxygen level amiss, the people next to me a bother, the long flight, the cramped flight, the kids crying, kicking, slapping, slopping, peaking, booing. I am not sure who in the hell was in charge but things were chaotic and I was mighty pissed. I screamed at the lady behind me to keep her kid from so much as breathing for the rest of the flight. I was hot, sweaty, bothered by the 200 or so people around me sleeping, unconcerned that the plane was soon to go down in a fireball.


The elevator was kicking my ass, and I was sent to the corner by the security guard, who smelled of pall mall. We got on the elevator and the three others jockeyed for position, I counted the weight and we were clearly 150 pounds over the limit and that is what started it. I charged to the front and pressed my lips against the remaining crack left by the closing door, the centimeters of airspace left before the journey upward, past floor number 6 with the stacked furniture stood blocking the stairwell. The rest is somewhat of a blur, the choking back of foam, the resistant urge to flee, the quiet effort to pry the doors open with my fingernails. Before I knew it the car came to a stop, the doors opened and and a small man with a thin mustache was smiling at us, cigarette in hand, motioning to us in "broken Port", to come back the to conference room.

So it happened again today on my flight to Oklahoma City. I recounted the entire ordeal of Argentina while sitting in my seat waiting for the plane to take off. Because my mind had triggered the memory, I was off in to the build up of the panic attack that later ensued. I am thinking the whole ordeal was a pretty good workout because I broke a sweat and my heart rate averaged around 170 for the 15 or so minutes of fear.
So first thing this morning I got online and found a couple sites that basically tell me to quit listening to my inner voice, my trigger mechanisms, the fear of fear, the fear of panic.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Lupo Get's It

This is Chris Lupo. He and I have worked together for a long time. He is one of the Pfoodman family of characters, one of those people that make life a little more interesting and that much more the reason to keep moving the business along. His wife Tanya is a kick ass Triathlete, so is her sister. His daughter basically slays the other kids in a select soccer league. This past semester Chris won the greatest loser contest at his church. Trimming down 30 or so pounds.

I post his picture here now, not because of his continued dedication to the company, his unrelenting pursuit of quality and client relations. Not because of his hard work, integrity and steadfastness. I post it here because this picture was taken the last time I saw the Cardinals win a freaking baseball game. This was game 6 of the world series, Chris saluting all of his homies.

Lupo, can you call some of your Italian friends, say.....Larussa perhaps, and see if you can get a win or two, for the love of the game?

Pungo Swims!

That's right. She has sat quietly in the garage for six weeks now, waiting for the time for her maiden voyage, which happened yesterday, after a 70 mile road ride.

Now I wouldn't normally put the two together, cycling is indeed all about legs and Kayaking, all about upper body. The plan was to paddle upriver as far as I could go, then take it easy on the way back. The upriver paddling proved to be a solid workout. Seeking out still water is the key. Now I have somewhat of an understanding of the Conquer Castlewood plan of attack. The canoe portion of the event is basically the same coarse that I did. Knowing where the stillwater is, is important to the efficiency of moving through the water. No wonder I have always gotten my ass handed to me on the canoe leg. If you know where to go, it is much easier.

I suppose I will show up to volunteer since the race is full, according to this.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Bailey's Chocolate Bar



Bailey's Chocolate Bar is the snizzle.


The is nothing that I can say that will capture all that is right about this place. Simply get in your car and drive out of the county, to what is likely the hippest joint in town. The only thing that was noticeably wrong with this place is that we might have been the oldest people there. That or I had the least amount of hair out of anyone there. Not sure, the Inebriated Chocolate Layer thang grew a whole new head of goodness, it was that good.


314.241-8100 Hours: 4pm-1am Mon-Sat.4pm-10pm Sun.


Email:Dave@BaileysChocolateBar.com Smoking: Allowed only on heated patio Click here for directions Credit: All major cards accepted.


Sofia's Bistro

Sofia Bistro is just a short walk from Downtown Clayton.
Located at 7401 Pershing Ave, on the corner with Jackson Ave.
(One block East of Hanley Ave and a block South of Delmar Blvd)
Reservations are suggested:
314-862 5224
Ah, to seek out and patronize the independent restaurateur heroes. That is the mission of this epicurean. While corporate restaurants close daily in Chester-field-of-strip mall, my wife and I, and friends, find refuge in the cities fine restaurants from time to time. This weeks venture was Sofia's Bistro, on Pershing ave., right next door to where Truffes bakery resided. They have since moved to North Skinker. Truffes is an occasional vendor for Pfoodman/Hospitality Services, at times providing specialty desserts for catering. I was familiar with this neighborhood from my visits there.

The signs in the windows present a sadness; the shuttered businesses in such a quaint neighborhood known for its boutique businesses. Hopefully there will be someone to fill in the blanks, soon. Sofia's seemed to be the only light shining in what is considered a hidden gem of neighborhood commercial cornerstone.

We arrived at Sofia's after a tour of the Central West end. Janie collaborated with Debbie Raskas for a couple hours on the phone and out of that, it was decided that we would meet at Sofia's on Pershing. I have always thought of Pershing as being off of Debalvedere. Not the case, we scoured the neighborhood to no avail. I hate directions and pride myself on the ability to navigate without the help of maps or guidance. Janie saw a guy with a gun and made me stop and ask directions. I told him to go ahead and hop in and show us where the heck we were going. We went to the Central West End and Sofia's wasn't there either.

As it turns out, the Pershing Ave. that we wanted was the one just east of Clayton before you get to Forest Park Parkway. We Del Mar backtracked it from the West End and made it there in time to meet our friends the Raskas's, dropping off the gang banger and his glock at the Chop Suey joint on Hamilton just east of the loop. Janie gave him a big hug and got his email for later chain mail forwarding purposes.

It is a patio place, quaint neighborhood and solid euro style menu. Somewhat limited, but to me that is a plus. Three of us had the Pepper Steak and salad served Ala Cart, all perfectly prepared and served nicely by our waiter, a college student aged "nice-kid". The skies opened up on our patio party so moving inside was the only option. They accommodated everyone on the patio without a hitch. I was willing to sweat it out but the chicks would have nothing of it.

The wine list was very complete with a large selection of wines by the glass offered from a couvenet. Most wines by the glass were offered at 7-8 dollars. Entrees were moderately priced, total with gratuity for two was around 75 dollars.

The owner, Teddy Ivanov, sat at the bar overseeing the nights production. I would have liked him to come over and introduce himself rather than make me wonder who the "metro" at the bar was. I say throw the hand out there whenever possible to those that enter your dwelling. As a former Matre D' of a couple fine clubs when I was younger, it was always me who sought out the friendships of my customers for the purpose of building the business. Most people are interested in a story, the majestic stature of being the house lord. Vince Bommerito was and still is the master of this. The warmth of Teddy's personality was absent.

We had a great experience at Sofia's and plan to return, if not for dinner then maybe just a glass of wine and a salad in the bar or on the patio. I recommend you visit this restaurant.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Executive Chef Anton Keller


From St. Louis Magazine

....a chef, who looked like what you might expect Central Casting to send over if you asked for a chef, strode through the dining room — impeccable chef's whites, meticulously trimmed beard, piercing eyes. This, we learned later, was Swiss-born Anton Keller, who has a globe-trotting resume that includes hotels and restaurants from Hong Kong to the Helmsley-St. Moritz in New York City to Nebraska...

Go here to see a live broadcast of his talent

Chef Keller Joined Pfoodman recently to head up new culinary development. Darned if I can find a picture of him. The above words taken from St. Magazines review on his prior achievment, The Tuxedo Room in the Grand Corridor, will have to do. This past Wednesday we went to see a client in Indianapolis, and while there, knocked out a dinner for twenty as part of a pre-marketing partnership for the New Stratford at West Clay Senior Living Community located in Carmel Indiana. Very upscale, three distinct restaurants will shape the hospitality program offered there by Silverset, Pfoodman's senior living dining service division.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Bauers body fat finally "dialed".

Taking the fitness thing a little too far...


The Science Center is getting Body Worlds 3 in October. Beth Savage, Director of Corporate Gifts sent this to me. Should be a cool show.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Pfoodman/Wapiti pics

It has been a real decent promotional season thus far for Pfoodman/Wapiti.


Our mission is to cultivate and provide healthy foods, nutrition and outdoor culture awareness for various audiences, as they add value to their fund raising activities. We have been present at the MS Society Kick Off, The Arthritis Foundation Walks and Ozark Fly Fishing Weekend and the VeloForce Circuit Bicycle Circuit Race in Washington MO so far. We have many more planned, consult the Where is Pfooodman? Calender here.

Pfoodman/Wapiti has been busy logging new clients. For more information click here.

Got Wapiti?

Some Pics from various events throughout St. Louis:





Hawkins finally rides his bike






A couple pictures and story from Hawkins, after a hyatis.


While I may have been absent so far this year, I am finally getting out on the MTB. I am exploring part of my new territory for work in Arkansas, today I rode some of the Pigeon Creek trails around Norfork Lake. I did four of the shorter loops, but there is a 22 miler that I plan on doing next month. The trails are very well constructed with a nice view of the lake, and they have built several ladders to get over some fallen trees that were too big to cut. Pretty fun stuff, and today's ride would have been good for the blinglespeed.D


Thanks D' bet you were feeling real fast eh? Walk to the light...to the light....




Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Charley and the Spider

We had one like this. Hornet Green.


It cost me 50 bucks to drive to Marshall MO and back the other day. I only put 50 bucks in the tank to retaliate against the oil companies. If I were to run out, so be it. The oil companies would have to be responsible for me being mighty pissed off. 50 bucks would have to do it, not a penny more. If I were to run out of gas, I was to hike the rest of the way out of the concrete jungle. I'd rough it a little, after all, people had it rough back before cars and bars and booze. If my calculations were correct, I would only make it to Winghaven, before conking out on my way home. Turns out I made it but I was fully prepared to make an issue of it.


When I was a small child, living in Columbia MO, I remember my mom pulling in to Alice's Conico Station at the corner of Business 63 and Broadway. Alice was kind of "butch" and her husband, "Butch", worked in the stalls, changing oil, doing basic car maintenance. Gas was 38 cents a gallon and you not only got your windows cleaned by Alice, Butch would come out and check the oil and fill the tires with air. You wouldn't even get out of your car; a 1970 Impala Station Wagon like the one above. The median household income was almost 9 grand a year and a new home would cost you around 27 grand. Nixon and Agnew were in office.


It is funny how we took things for granted back then. The value added services found daily in the most common purchasing experiences. At the IGA right next door (to Butch and Alice's Conico), the bag boys would take your grocery's to the car. Sudden Service, the dry cleaner in town, delivered your laundry, heavy starched, twice weekly. You didn't even need to dial an area code or pre-fix when using a telephone. Our number was simply dialed 28239.


As a kid I remember riding my bike a lot more and usually out of sheer boredom. When the hottest new bicycle came out, the "Spider 500", it was simply a "must have" and only sold at the Western Auto store downtown, next door to the Ben Bolt Hotel. The catalog came out each season with pictures of the new stuff. I had a clipping of the bike for a year, before I could talk my folks in to buying it for me. I cherrished that bike like Nepolean likes tots. It was bad luck on my part when a year later, a not-so-nice guy from the other side of the tracks tossed my Spider 500 (and all of my other friends bikes) over the Hinkson Bridge in retaliation for accidentally hitting his car with a dirt clod. Ronald Parton was a bad guy, and we chose the wrong person to mess with that hot summer day. He would pop into our lives a couple of other times through the years, before landing himself in prison on a rape charge.

I can't believe I actually found this pic of a 1969 Spider 500


There was nothing much to do as kids back then, not during the summers. The most common activity was to explore the cow pasture, south of Shepherd Blvd., near the neighborhood where I grew up. The old lady at the end of the block owned most of the land around those parts and lived in a house that sat at the top of a hill with a lake just below a piccalilli treeline. Me and John Manning and the Dickhouse twins set the hill on fire once, playing with matches. She almost lost the whole house and never even knew it. She was old, real old, Mrs. Shepard. Her retirement was the occasional sale of land between Broadway on the North and Grindstone creek on the South. Most of it is developed now, neighborhoods, commercial development, office space. The pasture is still kind of there, traces of familiar territory still out there, nothing ever changes too much.


The cow pasture was where I learned most of what I know about everything. There were a whole lot of cows there and one bull named Charley. He was there to do the obvious, but they kept him apart from the girls for whatever animal husbandry reasons, seasonal birthing or whatever. That bull scared the snot out of me every time I got near it. You could smell him before you saw him. That dude had the life as far as I was concerned. We knew what he was doing.


Charolias bulls can be purchased here.


The cows and Charley the bull would do there thing, graze, from one side of the field to the next, then transverse into other fields, down to the water into Grindstone Creek up near the hogger, where they had hogs too. Along the bluff line to the Creek there were caves, one of which we called Wolf Cave, due to some feces that we assumed to be that of rabid wolves, who only came out at night. We would only explore during the day. We never saw a rabid wolf but knew that if we crawled back far enough in wolf cave, we would likely encounter one. We never did.


We would ride our bikes up to the bluff top through the cow paths worn a couple inches deep by the cattle; a connector system worn over the years; a path to good eating, their routine carved in to the ground for us to ride our bikes. Hell, come to think of it, we had our own dirt crit series back then and didn't even know it.
It was sad my Spider 500 barely saw the likes of that roaming cattle single track, because of Ronald Parton and his hot temper. However, the story of him trashing our bikes seems to transport me back to those days. Come to think of it, Mrs. Costigan wanted to take the whole 3rd grade class to Magistrate Court to learn why you shouldn't throw dirt clods, as a field trip.
I guess I never really thought what that cow pasture meant or would signify some 35 years later. Some things never change. I am still romping around fields and streams and bluffs on bikes. I might still occasionally throw the proverbial dirt clod or two at those unexpecting. One thing is for sure.
I'll never have another lady like the Spider 500.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Sunday's Century

Photo blatantly stolen from Brendan's site

So, after a weekend full of "bailouts" from the group I ended up getting a pretty good burn on with Brendan and Scottie of the coveted DRJ team. The term bailout is used for those who agree on a ride and call just before or, sometimes even after the roll out. There are various reasons. Very few legitimate. It is more of testimony to the difficulty of the days ride. Sometimes we are just not up to it. Sometimes we stay up too late, sometimes the wife is bitching and we know it is simply better staying home and cleaning the garage. I say that's fine, but who in the heck is watching out for our fitness? I say guilt is power. Get off your ass, off the couch and get on the bike. Don't conform to domestication, get one of those cool farmers tans, today.

"dude, I hurt my leg sliding in to home base on last nights drunken softball triple header".

"Hey Ralph, I just realized that I just simply have too much to do, you know how work kicks our butts, don't you Ralph"?

"Man, I had some bad Chinese last night, I am still not over it".

"I think I have Lyme disease".

"My mother in law, nuff said".

"Prom".

It doesn't matter what the excuse is, really. Because I choose to capitalize on this sort of thing. You see, I am old and fat and won't stop until my body fat is 10%. And, after yesterdays 105 mile ride with Scott and Brendan, I am thinking I got some serious, turbo fired one-up goodness on those who will go un-named, you know who you are.

The route was quite nice, three ferry crossings, which are somewhat of a pain in the ass. You have to wait thus losing your heart rate. Too much time waiting. We would have had a decent average without the waiting, Brenden did say that we beat the time of his last one by 7 minutes. Through St. Charles, to Golden Eagle ferry "to the right" after the climb out from the river, down a long the river past the apples. Then down and back up to the main road up to Brussels, then to Hardin, to Pere Marquette crossing at Brussels Ferry, and back to the apple road to the Golden Eagle Ferry. It was a solid ride, should have been done in 5 and change but there were a lot of stops due to the ferry crossings.

I have never seen so many people cussing, yelling and hollering at us, screwing with us. At one point, climbing up out of the river towards the apple orchards a group of motorcycles buzzed us and clipped Brendan in the arm, came by real fast and revved those motors up real good. Brendan got all pissed off and tried to chase them down to catch them at the next ferry. Scott was a little fatigued at that point so I went up to Brendan to get him to calm down. I didn't feel like fighting so I did my best to slow him up by sitting on his wheel. Let's face it, I am 45 years old, and while indeed I am certified in around 20 martial arts and greco, chinese, UFC type belt winning octogon type stuff, and my hands are registered with the CIA as weapons, lets not forget it was a century ride and I was tired.

He kept hammering so I sat on his wheel in order to get him to wear his ass down. Never happend. I was worried that he might catch them and be by himself, should things escalate. I was also worried because I didn't really feel like an altercation. We made it to the ferry and it was already half way across the river, fat-assed Harley riders spittin sunflower seeds off the back, laughing, pointing out the veins in Brendan's legs, relieved that we didn't catch dey-ass.

We had another, a family coming home from church yelled at us to get off the road. We returned fire, unleashing a furry of "share the road" commentary. The guy actually pulled over and got out of his car, Sunday best, wife and kid dressed up real nice. I was thinking: What is he going to do? Pray with us? He ended up screaming: "I have a kid in the car". I am thinking that he was referring to some of the commentary from our group, that came about after him drawing 1st blood, screaming at us from his car window. Now, I wouldn't write about this normally, but the dude really made an ass out of himself, in front of his family. All I could think of was those Amish people last week, those cleverly disguised Destroyers posing as God fearing fundamentalists. I am thinking this guy was a destroyer disciple, because he fit the same mold as the Amish, cunning, loud and ready to fight. They are dangerous, the Destroyers, beware, everywhere. The family of churchgoers followed us for a while and then disappeared in to the Heritage Days festival at the Riverfront in St. Charles, where other destroyers were beating pieces of hard steal in to armor.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Restaurant "Un-innovation"


So when did it happen? When did full service restaurant chains completely max out as an industry? There are way too many casual themed restaurants. What will come of the real estate?

Someday, when we reflect upon stuff, we might say to each other:

What ever happened to Friday's, O'Charly's or Applebees's, or Ruby Tuesday, or Houlihans, Bennigan's, Damon's, Steak and Ale, or Flaming Pit, or Ground Round, or Old Country Buffet, or Wyatt's Furr's, Luby's, Piccadilly's, Pope's.....They are all of the same ilk. When did the consumer habit of "functional dinner taking" at casual theme full service restaurants cease to be mainstream; the "Applebees" concepts of of the 90's and Y2K?

And then we will talk about how it happened right under our noses, real estate developments and urban re-development projects seeking anchors, amenities for the retail experience, everywhere, in every city, causing the-alignment and/or re-alignment of commerce in our communities, particularly in minor markets, the rampant struggle for market share underway, soon rendered over built and set up for "un-innovation" by food service "managers of the day".

Corporate mergers, acquisition's over emphasis of distribution finance/leverage from suppliers were the cause of it, the over building of corporate restaurant America.

Krispy Kreme, Boston Market...


The (business) is a mutual fund...

Parents


An interesting angle on how our parents get old. I talked to my mom the other day and asked her, after a brief telephone conversation with her husband, who is 78, and whom I have only had smalltalk with through the years:

"So, what's going on?".

And my mom says something like this, but not limited to:

"Not much, Jesse sits around a lot".

And I say somethin like:

"Well, he is 78 years old"

And I thought to myself: (reprints available)

"I don't feel old. I feel better than most people, better than a 25 year old. I truly feel this way- I feel as sexy and as strong as I did years ago, more so, because I know who I am, and it is defined by my commitment to fitness and the practicum of my lifestyle. The reason I live is the culture that I have become a part of, accustomed to. I do it for me, not because of a diet or subscribed, prescribed or self imposed addiction, I am fit".

And Jesse would think this if he were to see a reprint:

I am totally 35 years older than that POS. How dare he call me out on the fitness thing? I am sitting here watching golf because I have already played 18 and it is indeed the time to relax and drink a malt beverage of my choice, I am having a nice nap".

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Inspired by Vente


I spent $29.00 at Starbucks this morning. For two coffee Vente's, three scones, two orange juices. Oh, and I bought a CD compilation of some new and upcoming artists from the music kiosk.

I am such a freaking yuppie freak, hopeless. I will need to repent for my actions, my spontaneous purchase of goods and services directed at my demographic from corporate giant coffee and lifestyle injector chains. Why should I have fallen victim? I refuse to conform to this sort of thing, so I am not to shave for a week and will wear a tie die t-shirt shirt through the halls of Plaza Frontenac for an hour, in an effort to save myself from infection (and to look for a new Polo button down).

I don't shop, especially at Frontenac. This weeks mountain bike race will have to adequately stitch the patch, the fabric of grassrooting in to what has become my white picket fenced porch front, if you get what I am sayin. And since we are going to the in-laws country club for dinner tonight, the muddy race in the woods will have to be balance enough--my "just being" for the week, if you will. It is a struggle, the balance, but I am making progress. I hope the kayak doesn't fall over and hit the 528i. I had a bad dream about that.

I was reading my Starbuck's Vente cup. And I quote:

"In reality, hell is not such an intention of God as it is an invention of man. God is love and people are precious. Authentic truth is not so much taught or learned as it is remembered. Somewhere in your pre-incarnate consciousness you were loved absolutely because you "were". Loved absolutely, and in reality, you still are! Remember who you are!"

-Bishop Carlton Pearson
Author, speaker, spiritual leader and recording artist.

And there it was, just below the quote in smaller print:

This is the Author's opinion, not necessarily that of Starbuck's. to read more or respond, go to www.starbucks.come/wayseeit

So you see, conformation is mainstream and important to fishnets like Starbucks, for reasons of political neutrality, liability and for the "we are kind of authentic" target market.

Happy Mothers Day Mom, Janie, Joanie! And Kathryn too, who watches over the old mothers. I love you.


Saturday, May 12, 2007

Castle Amish Classic

After Three hours of hard riding, I find myself coming down the backside of Lone Wolf, panic set in when before me, a parade of young Amish women guarded the entrance to my remaining field sprint. They were obviously disciples of the Destroyers, or possibly, even the destroyers themselves, brilliantly disguised. They are cunning, they are the destroyers.



This was a particularly hard race. Combined with the fact that it was a busy week with lots of entertaining to do, I was nearly a no show. But that is simply unacceptable now isn't it? There is much to prepare for. There are a few 6 and 12 hour races that I am interested in doing so I needed to get this one behind me. I will take a quick trip to Colorado over Memorial Day to get some altitude riding for 3-4 days. That should do the trick The 3 hour endurance race today was a good conditioning platform and this was my second thus far. I seem to be able to hold my own but Brendan slaughtered me as a payback for Klondike. The issue has mainly to do with cramping for me, I literally seized up on the last lap. Dewayne Gorzinski was kind enough to share some of his tactics, mainly nutrition and buildup stuff. I will likely take his advice, considering the fact that he won the race and had a complete lap on me. I missed the 6th lap cutoff by a few minutes, I completed 5, still got a top ten finish. Still not good enough. Still not totally recovered.

Don't you love Amish people? There was a great big bus that brought a bunch of them in to the park today and they were walking around everywhere, frolicking. The bus they rode in on said "Jesus Saves" on the side. It was pretty cool. I wish I was Amish. In a weird sort of fundamental wannabee sort of way. There are lots of benefits. Pearl Izumi wouldn't be getting my 80 bucks every now and then for one. I also like cobbler, don't they have a lot of cobbler recipes? In Sarasota, where the girls and I go a couple times a year, there are Amish everywhere and a lot of them work in a restaurant called "Yoders" or something like that. They push tour bus after tour bus through that buffet joint, I am telling you, they are totally making money there, and the cobbler....they throw down with the cobbler, yo! They eat well and ride the coolest three wheeled bikes. They are stand up people. Very interesting culture. Hats off to the Amish for putting a twist on the race scene today.

The smartest man in the world showed up today and respectfully finished 6th in his first race back since 2004. I was so excited, but let down because he did not wear his 2001 beginner state championship jersey. I think it would have been a nice retro accented statement if he were to combine it with medium sized hoops and a coach bag.

Little Buddy seems to be coming out of his thing with a 3rd place finish. Doesn't Tom Albert totally kick butt? Same with Jim Krewit, always so thoughtful and nice when they come around me sitting up, eating an apple or adjusting their Ipods. Letting me know that a hill is coming and no interest in being behind me on the climb. They should run for city council of Ballwin. They can get the roads fixed and get the Manchester Road corridor re-developed. Not sure where I am going with this. But they seem to take a nice guy approach to kickin some major A.

Schuck reminded me that his times, even though he did the expert class race and not the endurance class, were faster than mine, and he would have indeed made the 6th lap cutoff and I most likely would have lost to him, and been as humiliated as he was after the Klondike slaughter fest where I nudged him out by 5-6 minutes. Eric, it's okay. I knew this was going to be a rough one for me and a good one for you, that is why I tricked you in to not doing my race. The extra lap that I did likely one up-ed my fitness for next week. Word.

Pickled Okra anyone?

Friday, May 11, 2007

Biff and the Monster Truck


Alright, so I have been singling out some of the funnies of the wealthy, some of the idiosyncacies of the rich and famous and/or wannabee culture. They are an easy target, you have to admit. There are other groups that can be "outed" as to their peculiarities, this group simply "popped" in. A brief list of likely future subjects:

Anyone from Alabama
Competitive Cheer leading
Home Town Buffet patrons
Twins
Square dance competitors
Wal-Mart checkers
Jiffy Lube (when the technician brings you the color comparison of the oil)
Public displays of affection (hetero and/or other)
Drunk People
Dog walkers
Ahem...hair replacement, the industry in general.
Hair removal

Just park your car at Sam's. Sit back and enjoy the show. If you can stand to have your car doors exposed that is. There, between palates of chunky peanut butter, is where life in America dwells, in the parking lot of Sam's or Wal-Mart. Ask these people what the hell we plan on doing about global warming. They say something like this: "Is it open yet"?

But as Jim pointed out on his commentary, what about me? What is up with the X5 with the bike wrack on top, the yellow tie and the genetically attached trio, as spotted on highway 40, leaving Clayton of all places, yesterday.

Fact is....well....I have been conforming. We all possess a chameleon gene. It is right next to the cerebral cortex, the same part of the brain that has to do with pleasure, hunger, stuff like that . So logically, there is a rationalization to my conforming, that my....yuppie image is a uniform, armor for the battle, war face, facade, whatever. I have to do business a certain way. Plus, the BMW is truly the ultimate driving machine. Fact is I bought it off of a guy who was in jail and needed the money for bail.

I think the best thing for you to do would be to read my initial post on this blog. I shall read it again as well, in order to re-connect. And because I was busted, I will also bust my ass in the endurance class on Saturday at Castlewood State Park. That will be punishment enough.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

The Dance of The Pretty People


I had a handful of meaningless conversations last night at, of all places, Cardwell's in Clayton. We were on our way home from the Sheldon after an awards ceremony for Junior Achievement and I told Kevin that I would buy him dinner at Cardwell's, talk about our kids, have a nice dinner. I hadn't been there in a long while and Rich Gorzika, the owner, was kind of a hero of mine. He has been in business forever, a very respectable businessman keeping that restaurant open for many years. The food had always been exceptional through the years, it was time to try it again.


What a deal? It just happened to be Party in the Park, Clayton's spring/summer pretty people parade of pretentiousness. I couldn't help but convince Kevin to stop so I could give him a bit of St. Louis "Country Day" Culture on the skids. I thought it absolutely hysterical when he was suddenly asked what High School he went to and he replied: Soldan. Very funny, the dude asking had gone to Burroughs and didn't even get it, he was so immersed with his own story telling. We actually had an interesting conversation or two with this guy and others. I was glad we went.


It was an absolute spectacle and anyone who "gets" St. Louis singles culture of the wealthy or wannabee wealthy can certainly understand. Party in the Park is an institution, a part of St. Louis culture that captures, for a brief time, a cross section of what life is about for a certain group of people--that this group evolves yet remains static, year after year. Except me, of course, because I know what it is all about and as the night progressed, it became my study, for this blog--a poor rationalization, I know, but go with me on this. When I got home my wife and kid were studying for a vocabulary quiz, and I told them I had been at Starbuck's to avoid a confrontation, for the full effect and experiential integrity purposes.


I have never been so entertained and have come to the conclusion that some things never change--the same people were milling around trolling for men/women, like they were 15 years ago, when I was running bars and restaurants, on that same corner, different day, different year, same people. I caught eyes with a few of my old acquaintances. Some would pause and reflect, try to remember where they might know me from, then move away, to the next male of female of strategic interest. Many had been replaced by youthful, more beautiful men and women of today, a lot more boobs, fake boobs on the women, the men blown up like balloons from health club memberships. I am thinking that a significant percentage of tanning sales in the St. Louis metro area was represented there, in the 2000 square foot patio, some of the elders looking like that neighbor lady in the movie "What about Mary" with Cameron Diaz.


For years I did the happy hour gig as a job, after coming to St. Louis in the mid 80's to manage Houlihan's at Union Station, then the Galleria Houlihan's. I was a manger for Gilbert Robinson, bar manager, doorman, host, whatever. I ran the happy hours during the happy hour years, for all the pretty people. When Cardwell's opened, the fickleness of the "Pretty Happy" crowd, as I referred to them, changed, and the corner of Brentwood and Maryland became the hot spot after years at the Station and the Galleria. As a result of the fickle nature of the business, I eventually became the manager of Ramones Jalapeno, and my buddy Pedro Beltrenena, another restaurateur, ran Cardwell's, right across the street. We would collaborate on many things, did some business together in catering through the years, we cut our teeth back in those days. What we both understood well, was the social patterns of the "Pretty Happy" crowd of Clayton and Ladue, many still working it, 15 years later.


Pretty happy is all they were then and all they are now. I waited until this morning to reveal what I had experienced to my wife. I was with her sister after all, bumped in to her 10 minutes after arriving. She had the pulse on the whole crowd. She works at the St. Louis Country Club, after all.





Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The Queen


I think the Queen of England, as an institution, is a little weird. Have you ever seen such a ta-do about a 80 year old country clubber? I want to know, what does the Queen and her entourage "do"...really. Tony runs the country. Stuff like war, employment, GNP, other housekeeping stuff is covered. What does the Queen do? According to the definition of Monarchy, she is to personify the continuity and legitimacy of the state. As set forth by the constitution. What I want to know is when they sneaked a couple paragraphs into the constitution that banished the royal family from Parliament, cast out to a life of frolic, entertaining, etiquette, gaiety and profundity.


I reckon there are mid-day teas, outings, Abbeys and Churches to attend, sitting at in the front pew after a grand entrance, picture taking, buffets, parties, gatherings to approve, dinners and luncheons for dignitaries arriving to sit and chat, with the Queen, and her hat. Who makes a living doing that? I think being a Queen has more to do with making entrances than anything else. That and collecting her hats. She wears some of the coolest hats. I think the ultimate hat for the Queen would be a hat designed to look just like Cher. That would be hallmark.


I visited London once, and did a tour of the British Isles. Did you know that there is a flag at Buckingham Palace, that when raised means that the Queen is "on property"?. That really fires up the thousands of obese American tourists dressed in t-shirts and spandex flocking there each day, thinking that they might catch a glimpse of Elizabeth taking out the trash or pushing the lawnmower or yelling over the fence at Burt, her next door neighbor for a hammer.


I struggle with royalty, it is nothing more than tradition and it seems an expensive task, being the Queen. She has a website, so she is into self promotion. That is cool. There is a lot of information on the web that will tell you all about the traditions, the monarchy, what is proper, what is not. There are lists, and things to remember when greeting the queen. I know I would be one nervous puppy going up and shaking hands, saying hello. What do you think would happen if you didn't do everything right, would a rugby player (long in the tooth) whisk you off like a bouncer at Popps in Sauget? I bet the Queen has never high fived anyone, gotten Punk ed, choked on a hamburger, bent over to pick up a penny, anonymously started a flame stream on a message board. She doesn't know what she is missing.
On her latest visit to the Kentucky Derby her hat totally kicked A and it was the jealous envy of every Southern wannabee queen in the south (I am guessing this). I am also guessing that there was probably more money spent on hats to be worn at the derby than the winning purse won by that horse who came up from behind, because everybody who was anybody knew she was "fixin ta blast off wit da hat bidness". It was freaking hat frenzy for weeks pior the Kentucky Derby, indeed an appropriate place for the Queen to visit.
I wonder if there was some sort of communication dialect gap? Kind of a Hodge Podge of The Queens English and Southern Bell butering going on down there. I get chills thinking of all the posturing taking place at the reception and the awkward looks of discernment taking place between the Queens dignitaries and the Southern Belle's conversing with one another.


From theage.com/au:


"It is quite clear that, far from being 'the richest woman in the world', the Queen is not, in terms of disposable assets, even the richest person in the UK. Her 'private wealth' would form only a fraction of that disclosed recently in the courts as the collective assets of the Beatles."


That means Yoko likely has the upper hand. I am thinking she should leave the hat thing be.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Pfoodman/Wapiti to host MS Team

Whether you are a seasoned veteran, just starting or simply wanting to raise the bar of fitness reinvention, this team is for you! All fitness levels encouraged to join in, newbies, seasoned cyclists, racers, all are welcome to participate in Team Pfoodman for the 2007 MS 150 bike tour and other charity events throughout the year.Above, the buffet at the VIP tent in Columbia Missouri, Pfoodman/Wapiti Riders will gain admittance to this special event as part of our team.

Below, our standard run-of-the-mill Wapiti event, this one at the St. Louis Science Center in support of the Omnimax movie, The Nile.
Below, stacks of AB products for those with a thirst. Other spirit vendors will be on hand, including Pfoodman Catering, providing VIP's with our Version of Wapiti World...




Whether you are a seasoned veteran, just starting or simply wanting to raise the bar of fitness reinvention, this team is for you! All fitness levels encouraged to join in, newbies, seasoned cyclists, racers, all are welcome to participate in Team Pfoodman for the 2007 MS 150 bike tour and other charity events throughout the year.
  • Committed* Team Pfoodman/Wapiti members will be treated to weekly organized team build-up rides for the MS 150 and join us in the VIP tent as a member of Team Pfoodman/Wapiti at the conclusion of Day #1 at the tour.
  • Enjoy our version of periodical planning and strategy “meetings” at the Four Seasons Country Club Bar and Grill in Chesterfield featuring none other than Schlafly on tap.
  • Benefit from training tips and proper technique instruction by local cycling self proclaimed egotistical hero’s and legends.
  • Weekly training rides to be established of multiple distances for all events.
  • Food, beverage, music and exposure to interesting folks, blathering bloggers and artists alike will gather for good causes and great fellowship.
  • Train as a team to prepare and ride the MS 150 in September; a variety of distance goals suitable for all to aspire. The focus will be learning skills, proper nutrition, training technique and having fun. We will have elite riders on hand for those concentrating on racing, and the development of skills on and off road.


Initial meeting is at the MS 150 Kick Off event at Ghisallo Bike shop Sunday May 6th at 11:00 am. More info at that event....look for the Pfoodman/Wapiti tent.

Team Pfoodman/Wapiti is established as a team for the MS 150 event in September. You can register for the event and join the team at their website www.gatewaymssociety.org....click on the Register today link and go to the Search Teams section....enter Team Pfoodman/Wapiti and register.

Can’t make Sunday’s event but interested in Team Pfoodman/Wapiti? Contact Jerry Orzano, team captain, at aorzano57@hotmail.com for more information.

* get a jersey, show up and train, do the minimum of day one of the tour.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Outing Vampires


I hate vampires even though I might have been accused once or twice of being one. I never really took the bite, just got a little too close to the real deal. Those pesky individuals who try and suck the blood out of anyone who thrives.--those who capitalize on the occasional ill fate of others to increase their position--those who aim to look good at the expense of someone else looking bad.

Now, I don't know much about the Vampires of yesterday. I used to watch the movies like everyone, the neck biting of Bella Lugosi, the black and white movie images depicting a common theme of today: a statuesque individual living in a castle with a bunch of money, otherwise considered upstanding except for some occasional idiosyncrasies: staying up at night, not wanting to look at himself in the mirror, not appearing during the day etc. All seems normal until the story line reveals that the rich guy on the hill actually requires the blood of others in order to maintain life himself--that if he does not feed on the blood of immortals, he will perish, be exposed, find ill fate himself. He preys on those who truly live, not others like himself. Only after his bite will he pull them in to his own world.

Modern day Vampires are those who are not capable of providing energy (positive energy) for themselves. It is a condition, and/or a limitation and they have adapted in our world to overcome the shortfall. Vampires seek out those with energy, momentum and optimism. They lure a persons energy in for their own, stripping power, confidence and optimism from their host, in an attempt to control them, make them miserable, like they have become.

Vampires are everywhere and appear at a very young age. Usually around middle school, groups of vampires hanging around, growing in numbers, bullying, blood thirsty vampires sucking the blood/energy from others. A hierarchy appears in high school, the clothes, the styles; the goths, the preps, the freaks. It is tricky being able to point out the Vampires at such a young age, they are the manipulators, the backstabbers, the leaders of said groups, forming, judging, recruiting the masses, a buffet of followers. Those who remain independent and those who keep to themselves often never fall victim to the allure. Additionally, not everyone in the groups fall victim either, everyone is at risk. In every group is a vampire or two kindling the spirit, the agenda slowly seeking the trust for later use, strategic peer pressure that leads to bad decision making.

In college things fade a bit, Vampires need to conform and lay low, be sly, get educated, use their power, apply their dark values and absorb the skills needed for later, in business, sales, marketing, sports, management, politics.

Those who never really took the bite have the true advantage in college. They might have dabbled in the hierarchy in high school, participated in some bullying, immoralities, poor decision making, but never really made took the hit. With age comes a better understanding, a perspective of life, meaning, citizenship, fulfillment. There is "reflection", something Vampires lack. For some who were at high risk, self actualization happens and a re-invention occurs, never to go back to the darkness, the power, the trance, the influence, the membership of Vampires. True human spirit wins over the power of the Vampires, and life is better.

But a few remain, all the way up until we die. Expose them when it makes sense. Strategically and subtly. You will find that karma is the power, the Vampire killer of today.

Fight Club and Sheryl Crow


Tyler Durden: Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments...

Two interesting things happened last weekend. After my ride on Saturday morning-a 45 mile off road epic, I came home and could do just about nothing. I turned on TBS and there is was, Fight Club. I hadn't seen the whole movie in its entirety and wanted to. This was going to be it. I was alone, as I would be for the rest of the afternoon.

Janie had gotten all pissed off at the Arch Bishop for slamming the Children's Hospital Benefit so later that night we were to go to the concert. On Friday and in severe disgust, she ran to the computer, got online and purchased three tickets to the show for just under a hundred bucks, in support of the kids. I like Sheryl Crow and Billy Crystal was great in Soap as the gay guy. And I do respect the Arch Bishop for taking a strategic plunge into the murky waters of bad PR, especially if the Pope was watching. I figured the Arch Bishop simply was up for review, he has been here just a short while. I really don't think my commentary can do any more damage to the catholic church than the leader, so I will not expand.

I love this movie, Fight Club. Pretty much one of the more brilliant movies of the 90's. Mischief. Mayhem. Soap, the tag line for the movie.

At the benefit, yes, it was a benefit not a concert, I was under dressed. Janie said that jeans wouldn't cut it and that I would feel uncomfortable because everyone else would be dressed up. I said: "dude, I am going to a concert, I just watched Fight Club" and proceeded to put on a black shirt and jeans.

My favorite quote in the movie:

Tyler Durden
: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your *&%$# khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Upon arriving at the benefit, not the concert that I had envisioned, I was met with a sea of black ties, long dresses and posturing benefactors. I proceeded directly to the steps where I climbed for 10 minutes, to the laypeople seats. Great show.